I recently read an article that said a study had shown that weekend weight gain was considered part of one’s natural weight fluctuations during the week. As long as you’re eating well through the week, a little weekend indulgence and weight gain are apparently perfectly normal. On the one hand, that did make me feel a little better, as I have noticed that typically, my weekend weight fluctuates by as much as 2-3 pounds to what it had been through the week. On the other hand, however, it was a little depressing because I’ve also realized that I have to keep losing that same 2-3 pounds over and over, and what I really want is to lose new pounds so that I can reach my goal.

My goal this year is simple and conservative. I simply want to lose 40 pounds by December 31. I would like enough of that to be gone so that by Travis’s graduation and Brandon’s wedding (both in May), I can buy new dresses that are at least one size smaller than the ones I wore to Cody’s and Byron’s weddings last year. To stay on track to do this, I only need to lose about 3.3 pounds per month. Like I said, simple and conservative. I could have set a higher goal, but I know that would mean a lot more work on my part.

The thing is regardless of how simple and conservative your weight-loss goal is, actually losing the weight is hard and takes a lot of effort. At one point this week, I had lost 6.4 pounds since the beginning of the year. With my weekend fluctuation for this weekend, my net loss is only 3.6 pounds, which results in a nearly 3-pound fluctuation for this weekend. That’s just downright depressing.

Here’s the other thing, though. I know it’s my fault. I know I’ve eaten a little more than necessary this weekend, even for an indulgence. I know I haven’t exercised all week. Granted, my sinuses were a wreck this past week and breathing was difficult, which by default means exercising would have been difficult since being able to breatheduring exercise is pretty important. So that was my excuse not to exercise this past week. I also didn’t plan out a menu for the past week, which means I was eating randomly. Finally, I didn’t track everything I ate this past week, another fatal flaw when trying to lose weight. The problem is I know I need to get back on track, but the upcoming week is going to make it difficult to do so.

My schedule for the next seven days is brutal, assuming there are no snow days this week. Monday will be work from 7:30 to 3, a PD from 3:15 to 6:15, and a girls’ basketball from 7:30 to about 9. Tuesday will be work from 7:30 to 3, meeting with my English composition writers from 3 to about 3:30, and FPS/English composition regional Governor’s Cup competition from 5 to about 9:30. Wednesday will be work from 7:30 to 3, quick recall practice from 3 to 4:30, and Bible study from 7 to 8. Thursday will be work from 7:30 to 3, quick recall practice from 3 to 4:30, and a girls’ basketball game in Leslie County from about 5:45 to 10:30 (that includes travel time). Friday will be work from 7:30 to 3 and a girls’ basketball game in Rockcastle County from about 5 to 11:30 (that includes driving time). Saturday will be regional Governor’s Cup competition from about 7:30 to 5 and a girls’ home basketball game from about 7 to 9:30 (it’s Senior Night and Sweetheart). Sunday will be a trip to Lexington for Lily’s baby dedication where Travis and Ashley go to church there, leaving here about 8:30 and getting home who knows when. And technically, I’m due a trip to the doctor for a few minutes to get my next B12 shot, but I don’t see that happening this week. It’ll be back to work on Monday. Anybody else tired?

Looking at the schedule for this week is enough to wear me out before the week even gets started. As you can see, it’s going to be a long week. Meal planning is made difficult because with every evening filled with something, meals won’t be at normal times or places. If I’m lucky, I can be in bed by 10:30 most nights, but not every night. Exercise will be difficult this week because I’ll have to talk myself into getting up at 6 to do it, while knowing that I could get up as late as 6:45 and make it to work on time. Not that we need any more snow days, but should we get one or two, that would help tremendously, allowing both for time to exercise and time to eat well.

Fortunately, this upcoming week is not the norm for me. However, it is what I have to deal with this week, and as I’m feeling a little defeated and depressed about this week’s weight loss and I’m feeling a desire to get motivated to work harder at it, I look at the schedule and ask myself, “How?” and “When?” And right now, I don’t have a satisfying answer.

The best I can come up with for this week is to do my best to track what I eat just to make sure I’m not overdoing it. I can plan for breakfast and lunch because I will eat those while I’m at work. I’ll simply have to plan to allow for evening meals that could be less than desirable for staying on track with losing weight. When it comes time for those evening meals, I’ll have to be sensible and make better choices about what I choose to eat. With such a busy schedule, it would be easy (and tempting) to just eat whatever I can get whenever I can get it, but I can’t allow myself to do that. As far as the exercise, I’m going to have to really work on myself to make sure that I get up at 6 every morning so that I can do some exercise for that day. The further into the week I get and the more tired I get, the more difficult that will be to do, but I have to convince myself it’s a matter of mind over matter, and that I can keep talking myself into getting up to exercise. As such, a big part of what I’ll have to do this week is stay in control and exercise my willpower to do what I know I need to do, which, of course, is always easier said than done.

I know I can do this, and I know it won’t be easy. I know I can’t do it alone, so some extra prayer this week will also be quite helpful, and some encouragement from my informal support group will also be quite helpful. Losing weight is much harder than gaining weight. It takes a lot of time, effort, and work. It takes overcoming the depressing days when you feel like a failure. It takes focus, determination, and desire. It takes patience, which is probably the virtue I’m most lacking. I need to keep my eye on the goal.

I heard an interesting thing on the news last night from a driving instructor who was giving hints for what to do if your car starts spinning on ice. He said to keep your eyes focused on where you want to me (on the road) and that’s where you’d end up. He said that often when a spin starts the driver focuses on everything else, such as the blurred images passing by, and never sees the road. I realize I’ve never had a spin-out like that, but his advice sounds reasonable. Don’t we always tell athletes to keep their eyes on the ball? It seems like the same principle to me. Therefore, that’s the principle I need to apply to this weight loss.

There will be problems and difficult situations as I continue this journey. There will be weeks like the one coming up where it seems like doing anything productive with the diet will be a moot point. There will be weekends when the weight fluctuation is depressing. There will be days when I outright overeat and make my goal more difficult to achieve. There will be days when I have to fight the urge to make an ill-advised food choice. There will be days when I have to force myself to do the exercise. And these days will continue over and over and over, even after I reach my goal. Losing the weight, then maintaining that loss, will be an issue for the foreseeable future. Therefore, keeping my eye on the prize is what I need to do. My short-term goal is to be able to wear that dress in May that is one size smaller than what I was wearing last summer. My long-term goal is to lose at least 40 pounds this year. I will meet those goals.