Read Today’s Blog for a Winning Experience

Here are three things to remember.

1. At the end of the day, win or lose, it is just a game. Yes, we like to win. Yes, we like for our team to win. However, sometimes we, or our team, learn as much if not more from losing than from winning. We don’t like to learn lessons the hard way, but sometimes it is essential for our overall well-being. We may not understand it at the time, but at some point later in life, we likely will. This lesson is oftentimes more important for fans than for those playing the game, especially when children and teens are the ones playing. Too often the fans expect them to play as well as the pros do, and that’s just not going to happen. If you lose, mourn the loss, then get over it and move on.

2. You can’t accomplish much in life without knowing how to read. You don’t have to like reading, but you have to be able to read. As often as not, most information is communicated to us through the written word. We have to be able to understand what we’re reading. Parents who encourage their children not to be successful readers are doing them a huge disservice. I’d go as far as to say that it is a form of negligence. In the year 2013, there is no reason for a healthy child not knowing how to read.

3. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you will repeat them. Experience is the best teacher, and we can learn a lot from the mistakes we make. We learn easier, better ways to accomplish things based on experience. We learn who to trust and who not to trust based on experience. Life can sometimes become a lot more enjoyable if we learn from these experiences. If experience shows us we can’t trust somebody, then it doesn’t matter how much we love or like that person, we need to stop trusting them. You can love someone and not trust them. If experience shows us that eating certain foods is detrimental to our health, we should refrain from eating those foods. If experience shows us that procrastination is more harmful than helpful, then we should stop procrastinating. Experience is the best teacher, but only if we stop to actually learn something from the experience. These experiences and lessons can be both positive and negative; not all things we learn have to be learned through negative experiences. It’s just up to us to make sure whether it’s positive or negative, we get the message.

“No” Is Not a Four-Letter Word

I’ve written before about how parents need to be parents, but lately I’ve been seeing articles and news stories that are bringing me back to the subject. It’s really quite simple, parents. You will have plenty of time to be your child’s friend when the child is an adult. When the child is a still a kid, though, it’s your job, your responsibility, to be their parent. Here’s the thing – your kid does NOT have to like the decisions you make. As long as those decisions are in their best interests, they will be fine. They will get over it. And one day, they will thank you for actually being their parent.

I actually saw an article in response to the question of when one’s daughter was old enough to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house. My response is “never” even though I realize that there comes a point where your daughter will be old enough to make those decisions for herself. However, when we’re talking about a daughter who still lives at home with you, the parent, and especially a daughter who is under 18, the more appropriate question would be “why would you want your daughter to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house?” I have to admit that it truly amazes me the number of teens I hear talking about spending the night at the home of their boyfriend or girlfriend. And this is on a regular basis. I just don’t get it. As the parent, you have the right to say “no,” and in many cases, not just this particular situation, there are times when parents need to use the word much more often.

I’ve had other parents tell me that they can’t tell their child “no” without giving them a reason, and I tell them that they can. I understand that providing a reason sometimes makes the “no” a little easier to handle, but the bottom line is that you are the parent and if you decide that whatever your child asks for is not in their best interest, you can just say “no” and go on. However, if you insist on providing a reason or you’ve let your child get to where he or she feels entitled to demand a reason, there are plenty you can use. Try any of the following: “Because I said so” (kids love that one), “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to do that,” “It’s dangerous,” “I don’t think you’re old enough,” “It’s my job to keep you safe,” or “I love you.”

Too many parents are taking the easy way out and letting children make decisions that they simply aren’t old enough, mature enough, or experienced enough to make. Making good decisions is something children learn through having their parents demonstrate good decision-making skills. Children can’t learn this if they’re always making the decisions. Parents, you are the ones with the age, maturity, and experience to make good decisions. It’s your responsibility to demonstrate this to your children. Sometimes that means you have to tell them “no” about something that they really, really want to do.

And that’s OK.  They will live. They may momentarily get mad at you, but they will get over it, and one day, they will thank you. I can’t count the number of times my parents told me “no”, and I got over it every time. I also can’t count the number of times I’ve told my own children “no”, and they’ve gotten over it. I appreciate what my parents did, and now with age, maturity, and experience, I understand why they said “no” when they did.

Parents, you decided to have children, which implies you wanted to be a parent. It’s a serious job and an enormous responsibility. You owe it to those children you brought into the world to make appropriate decisions for their well-being. Sometimes that means saying “no”.