So Much to Do, but It Can Wait

Today is a lazy Saturday, just the kind I like. I get to stay home, which immediately makes this a good day. There are a few things I would like to accomplish by the end of the day. It would be great if I did but not catastrophic if I didn’t.

Getting to sleep in is always a good thing after getting up early for work all week. Cooking brunch for the family, especially with three of the four kids home, is a great way to start the day after finally getting out of bed. After brunch, I loaded the dishwasher so I’d be able to cook later today, and I did prep work for one of the two main dishes I’ll be cooking later. After that, I’ve been web browsing, checking Facebook, and contemplating what to write for today. I’ve done my daily Bible reading for the day and made a couple of plays in Words with Friends. I’ve technically started an ACT English Review PowerPoint for a workshop I’ll be doing next Saturday (no sleeping late next week which makes today’s opportunity even more precious), though with just two slides completed, there’s a lot left to do. We have the UK ball game on, though at the moment, we aren’t enjoying it very much.

I have one of my main dishes in the oven, and when Nic gets back from the store, I’ll put the other one together so we can have supper later. I decided to do all my major cooking today, leaving tomorrow to be finish-off-the-leftovers day. We’ll be going to my mom’s after church to celebrate the birthdays of one of my nieces and one of my nephews and one of my sisters-in-law, so when we get home having a fridge full of leftovers and not having to cook again will be nice.

Today, though, I’ve got to figure out what I want to get finished. I really should make a little more progress on that ACT Review PowerPoint, especially when I consider that I also need to do a Reading one before next Saturday. There’s a book I want to finish, and I need to read another 100 pages in The Hunger Games fairly soon so that I can stay a week ahead of the English 200 kids. At the time of this writing, there’s about seven hours before bedtime, assuming a bedtime of midnight, so there’s plenty of time to get some things accomplished. I’m not going to worry too much, though, about how much actually gets done. I’ll have things done by the time they need to be done, but for today, I’m going to enjoy my Saturday. There’s plenty of time for working; there needs to be plenty of time for relaxing as well.

Fire Convenient, but Not Necessary to Kindle My Love of Reading

For Christmas, my wonderful husband got me a Kindle Fire, among other things. Last year (2011), he had gotten me a Kindle for my birthday, and I was enjoying it more than I thought I would. Don’t get me wrong, I still love holding an actual book in my hands, turning pages while I read, using a real bookmark to mark my spot, and closing up the book when I’ve made it to the end. I can’t do any of those things when reading on my Kindle, but I have still enjoyed the convenience the Kindle allows me.

As my kids starting getting the Kindle Fire for themselves, I was intrigued enough to want to upgrade, and thankfully my husband took care of that for me. Fortunately, Amazon doesn’t place a limit on the number of Kindles that can be registered to an account, because I currently have seven registered to my account – my original one, and then a Fire for Byron, Nic, Cody, Tiffany, Ashley, and, now, me. The great thing is that we can share books and apps.

For the most part, when it comes to apps, most of what has been applied to our account has been free apps. There is the occasional app that somebody will pay for, but even then, I don’t recall anybody paying more than $5 for an app. Often, we also choose free books. A lot of the books on our Cloud are classics, and I have chosen some free books as well. That’s not to say that on occasion one of us doesn’t buy a book just for the Kindle. The great thing about all these Kindles on one account is that whatever one person buys goes to the Cloud and is available for all of us. All we have to do is download it to our own device.

Now that I have the Kindle Fire, I’m quite happy. I’m not going to stop reading actual books that I can hold in my hands, but there are so many other things I can do with the Fire. I will use my Fire for reading books, but I also have several apps that I will enjoy. There are games, such as Scrabble, Unolingo, Tetris, Solitaire, Jewels Star, Logo Quiz, Words with Friends, Jeopardy, and The American Bible Challenge. I have apps for Pinterest, WordPress, and Facebook on there. Two other apps that I’m looking forward to using are the WWPP Calculator (Weight Watchers Points Plus) and Lose It! I’ll be revising my weight-loss goal for 2013, and I’m hoping the combination of these two apps will make achieving that goal a little easier for me.

There are many other things I could choose to do with my Kindle Fire, including adding music, videos, and pictures, but I’m not sure I will do that. I still use my iPod for listening to music. I don’t know that I want to watch videos on a 7-inch screen, and I have pictures on my iPod and my phone, so I’m just not sure if I’ll be moving pictures over to the Fire or not. There’s a tab for audiobooks, but I’ve never been fond of “listening” to a book, so I don’t see myself using that. I’m also not sure how often I’ll use the tab for the newsstand. The tab for docs may come in handy. I won’t upload a lot of documents to work with, but it will be handy for carrying around the file that has my booklist. Too often I’m in a bookstore and can’t remember if I have a certain book. Being able to access this list will make life much easier. I’m sure there will be times when I’ll have another document that it will be handy to have easy access to, and when that happens, I’ll simply move it to the Kindle. Finally, there is the web link, and I’m sure that when wi-fi is available and I don’t have the laptop handy, I will be using the web browser. I’m not sure how often that will be, but it’s nice to have it if I want it.

I’ve only had my Kindle Fire for five days, but I’m very grateful to my husband for getting it for me. I had used my old Kindle more than I thought I would in the year and a half that I’ve had it, and I imagine that I’ll use the Fire even more. A couple weeks ago, someone was talking to me and said that she had read her first actual book in over a year, and it seemed weird to her to be reading a book where she had to hold it and turn pages because over the year she had only been reading books on her Kindle. I don’t think I’ll ever get to that point. I have decided that I like the convenience of reading on the Kindle, but I still love to hold and read actual books. The great thing about this device is that it does not have to replace your books. It can complement them. As for me, I’ll use my Fire as much for the other apps as I will for reading, and I will still be reading actual books along the way.

What’s Shaking?

Today’s been an interesting day. It’s Saturday, one my the favorite days of the week. We didn’t have anything on the agenda, so we got to sleep in. I got up around 11 so I could fix brunch. I had a good one planned: fried chicken, fried taters, scrambled eggs, biscuits, and gravy. All the kids are home. Ashley and Mady are gone to a women’s retreat with Ashley’s mom. Theresa hadn’t come over yet, but everybody else was here.

I was cooking, then there was a rattling sound, like somebody was knocking on the front door, except it was coming from the kitchen cabinets. Things seemed a little weird. I look at the kids in the living room and they’re all just sitting there with astounded looks on their faces. Then they start with the questions. Did you feel that? The house was shaking. Cody checked outside. The wind wasn’t blowing that hard. Ultimately we decided that it must have been the result of the washer. That sometimes happens. Usually not that noticeable, but sometimes there is minor shaking from the unbalanced washer.

Then Tiffany starts getting tweets. Friends from other places out in the county have felt their houses shaking. I get a text. My sister-in-law wants to know if our house shook. Being the logical folks we are, we reverse the washing machine theory. If that many people are feeling it, it must have been an earthquake. What else could it have been? But we’re in Kentucky. We don’t usually have earthquakes. Within a few minutes, my sister-in-law texts back, and WKYT is reporting a 4.3 magnitude earthquake, just outside of Whitesburg, which is just over an hour away from us.

We finish our brunch, and before I cleaned up the kitchen, I decided to check in on Facebook. By then it’s after 1:00, and scrolling through the status updates that had been posted during the last hour revealed a lot of chatter about the earthquake and how far away it had been felt. Some even in our area didn’t feel a thing. I had friends as far away as Lexington post that they felt it. Just a few minutes ago, the U.S. Geological Society put out a map showing the places where the quake could have been felt, and it extended through numerous states. I checked with my brothers who live in Ashland, KY, and Sweetwater, TN, and even though those areas of the maps were highlighted, neither of them felt anything.

It’s kind of strange to be sitting here in Kentucky knowing we had an earthquake today. We are aware of the New Madrid fault, but earthquakes in Kentucky are so rare that we just never think about it happening. We hear about earthquakes happening in other places all over the world, but we never acknowledge the fact that they can happen here. Experiencing an earthquake isn’t something that was on my bucket list, but as one of my brothers said, I could add it now just so I can mark it off.

We had a crazy spring. Two different communities, both less than an hour from where we live, had major tornadoes that did a lot of damage. Now it’s already been a strange fall. We had a snow day in October, and some areas really did get a lot of accumulating snow even if we didn’t. Now, less than two weeks later, we’ve had an earthquake. In New England, they got Superstorm Sandy and now they’re dealing with a Nor’easter. I almost dread to think what may be still to come. I guess the thing to remember is that we do live in a strange world, and we really shouldn’t be surprised by anything that happens. As a result, we should be prepared for whatever might happen.

So far the reports I’ve seen only indicate minor damage from this earthquake. Hopefully that will remain the case. And hopefully we will take this as a reminder that we need to be prepared for any situation.

Facebook Posts Can Damage Your Status

I’m pretty sure I’ve addressed this topic before, but it is one that seemingly will need to be reviewed from time to time. First, let me say, that as you know, I wholeheartedly support the First Amendment and your right to free speech. It allows me to also practice free speech. That said, just because you have the right to free speech doesn’t necessarily mean you should be reckless with it.

What you put on your Facebook page is, indeed, your business. I may not agree with everything someone else posts, but it is his or her right to post it to his or her page. I also recognize that there may be those who don’t agree with everything I post. That’s also fine. If you (or I) see a post we don’t like, we have several options.  Updating your status to complain about the postings of others doesn’t really help your case either, but again, it’s your page so if you must do so, then do so. We can simply keep scrolling and move on. That’s really the easiest thing to do. We can de-friend the person. That is actually quite extreme, and thus, I would reserve that for only the most extreme situations. After all, we either added that person as a friend, or accepted their friend request, presumably because there was something we liked about them, right? If you’re adding or accepting requests from folks you don’t know or don’t like, then perhaps you need to be a bit more selective about who is on your friends list to begin with. If I get requests from folks I don’t know or I don’t like (and yes, I can admit there are folks I don’t want to be friends with), I simply don’t accept them.

I try to avoid a lot of political statements on my Facebook page. That’s not to say I don’t have political opinions; I’m just choosing not to use Facebook to express those. If you choose to do so, that’s fine. I do my civic duty and vote the way I see fit. However, I’m not a campaigner, and I choose to believe that whom I vote for is my business and choose not to share that. For those of you who want to actively campaign, go for it. I don’t see myself de-friending anybody because of his or her political posts. As I said, I accept people I know as friends, which means I already had a pretty good idea what their political stance is before we became Facebook friends. I don’t always see things the same way as these friends of mine, but I choose not to let that be an issue in our friendship.  Part of having a true friendship is being able to agree to disagree.

There are posts that bother me a lot more than those of a political nature. Posts that tell me to share or repost to “prove” I love Jesus are posts that I just scroll on by. And, yes, Jesus did, indeed, see me keep scrolling. And, no, He isn’t going to cast me out of Heaven because I did so. It’s not just these posts, really, but any post in general that tells me I have to share it in order to either prove I believe something or to be sure that nothing bad happens within the next 24 hours that I don’t like. These posts are no different than the old-fashioned chain letters folks used to get in the mail. Newsflash folks – salvation is not determined by whether or not a post is reposted; it’s determined by grace alone, and the way you live your life day-to-day and hour-to-hour, including all the other posts you make throughout the day, will demonstrate your salvation. Another newsflash – whether something good or bad does or doesn’t happen has absolutely nothing to do with whether you share a post. But here’s the thing. It’s your Facebook page. Post what you want, but don’t assume I don’t love Jesus just because I don’t share all of those postings.

Another thing you should consider when posting on your Facebook page is the image you create about yourself. Surely by now everyone is aware that current and future employers will use social networking sites when making determinations about who to hire. Yes, it’s your page, so post what you want, but it is in your best interest to use some common sense. Your friends will form opinions about you based on what you post. Did you ever stop to think that it’s a little contradictory to post the “I love Jesus” picture and then three posts later post something that is utterly insulting to someone or uses language reserved for a rated-R movie? Respect is earned, over time. It doesn’t come easily, but it can be destroyed in a matter of seconds. When I post anything – whether it’s a status update, a blog, or a picture – I ask myself how that will be perceived. Will it hurt the respect I’ve spent years trying to build for myself? Would I want my mother, or my grandmother, to see that on my wall? My grandmother is pretty easy-going, but let me tell you, if she saw something out-of-line on my Facebook wall, she would not hesitate to tell me about it. Would I want my kids, my granddaughter, or my students to see that? If I answer no to any of those questions, even if I did laugh when I first saw it, I won’t repost it. That doesn’t change the fact that I probably shouldn’t have laughed to start with, but at least I’m not making it worse by putting it out there for everybody else to see.

I don’t claim to be perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I have done things, said things, and thought things that I know I shouldn’t have done, said, or thought. I have lost my temper, when I know I shouldn’t have lost my temper. And while I’m still not perfect, and try as I might, there will more than likely be another day when I do, say, or think something I shouldn’t. It is part of being human. However, just because I’m human doesn’t mean I can’t strive to do that right thing. That doesn’t mean I can’t try to use the common sense God gave me, through His teachings as well as those of my parents, siblings, children, husband, and students, to try to make the right choices. When I fail, the best I can do is confess it and ask forgiveness for it, and try to do better next time.

Yes, your Facebook page is yours. Do with it what you will. However, regardless of whether you’re 13, 25, 40, or 70, try to use a little common sense. Respect doesn’t come easily. We spend our whole lives earning it; we don’t need to lose it in a matter of seconds because of some foolish posts. You know how in the Miranda rights, those arrested are told that if they waive their right to an attorney, what they say can and will be used against them in a court of law? Well, your Facebook page is kind of like that. Depending on the circumstances, what you post could, indeed, be used against you in a court of law. But more to the point, it can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion. And for most of us, that’s more disastrous than the court of law.

Think Before You Respond

There are appropriate and inappropriate ways to respond to situations. As usual, the fly-off-the-handle way might be the eaiest, but as we know, the easiest way is usually not the right way. It is much more difficult to keep our heads and respond in an adult way.

When someone does something to you that is obviously personal, there is likely a need for you to respond. When someone does something that vaguely impacts you or someone you know, there might be a need for you to respond. When someone does something that negatively impacts someone else, there might be a need for you to respond. When someone does something that will have no lasting impact on anybody, there is no need for you to respond.

If someone insults you or personally injures you, then you need to address it. You can do this  by talking to that person in a logical, adult way. Screaming will not yield positive results. Name calling will not yield positive results. Belittling or issuing your own personal attacks will not yield positive results. Spreading rumors about this person will not yield positive results. Remember, you’re the one who has to live with how you handle the situation.

Before responding, there are several things you should do. First, count to ten. If you’re still upset, keep counting until you are calm. Don’t do anything when you’re already upset, hurt, or just plain mad. Words, written or spoken, can never be taken back once they are out there. You can apologize for them, and you can be forgiven for them, but the damage is still there. Nobody forgets hurtful words. Therefore, the most logical, adult thing you can do first is to have a cooling-off period where you get control of your feelings before you respond.

Second, before you respond, get your facts. If you’re going to claim somebody said something, you better be sure s/he actually said it. If you’re going to claim that something is always the situation, you better be sure it is always the situation. If you’re going to claim anything at all about the situation you’ve found yourself in, you better be sure what you’re claiming is accurate. If you make false claims, then several things happen. For those who do know the facts, you just come off looking foolish and petty. For those who don’t know the facts, you run the risk of wrongly tarnishing someone else’s reputation. Even if you try to fix it later, it’s almost impossible, mainly because for some reason more people would rather believe something bad about someone rather than something good about someone. That doesn’t say much for us as a species, does it? But it’s true. So before you run the risk of wrongly tarnishing somebody else’s reputation, check your facts before you respond to the situation. You’d want others to give you that courtesy.

Third, when you respond, make it an appropriate response. The response does not, and most often probably should not, be public. If there is an issue between you and someone else, deal with it privately.  You don’t really do yourself any favors by dealing with it publicly. Remember, people form opinions about both you and the person you’re responding to based on the responses. Because you should refrain from responding publicly, can you guess what that means? If you came up with not posting a rant on Facebook, you would be correct. You run the risk of several negative things happening if you do this. If you aren’t very careful, you look as bad as the person you’re bashing. If you haven’t already talked to the person privately, you risk doing more damage to your relationship. After all, nobody, not even you, wants dirty laundry aired in front of everybody. Refer to what I already said about the potential for wrongly damaging someone’s reputation. That’s difficult to repair, even if you are a big enough person to apologize later. And if you don’t have accurate facts, you once again run the risk of looking petty and foolish yourself. I do understand everybody has the right to post whatever s/he wants as a Facebook status. However, if you’re going to be issuing a personal attack against someone, even someone you think justly deserves it, you’d really better be careful. Remember, there are laws against libel, slander, and threatening others. If you post it, it can be used against you.

Fourth, there are appropriate channels for dealing with a situation. Typically, you don’t go straight to the bank president if you have a problem with your bank, just as you don’t go straight to the CEO of the hospital for a problem there or straight to the college president if you have a problem there. If you do go straight to the official at the top and bypass the appropriate chain of command to deal with an issue, then you obviously need some lessons in etiquette. You start with the person you have a problem with, and you don’t create a scene in public. If you aren’t satisfied with how the situation is handled, and if you have appropriate facts to back your case, then you go to the next in command. You work your way up the ladder until you are satisfied the situation has been handled appropriately.

Public rampages, whether a verbal assault on someone with whom you have a problem or a Facebook status rant against that person with whom you have a problem, are not appropriate ways to deal with situations that upset us. Public rampages not only make the person who has allegedly done us wrong look bad, but they can make us look bad as well. Personal matters should be handled personally, and that means out of the limelight. If the issue is something that deserves a public apology, that can be part of the solution you agree upon privately.

We all encounter situations that put us on edge or just make us mad. How we handle that says a lot more about us than it does about whoever put us in that situation. So the next time something happens, as difficult as it may be, don’t just fly off the handle and respond. Count, calm down, and gather control of your emotions before you do anything. When you have control of yourself, think about the logical, appropriate solution, and then do that.

As with the other things I’ve been writing this month, this isn’t necessarily one of those things that comes easily to me. It’s something, I, too, have to work on. But just think, if we all took the time to work on some of these issues, the world would have to become a better place, and that has to be a good thing.

The Easy Way Is Not Always the Best Way

A friend of mine posted a quotation from Robert Heinlein as her Facebook status, and I like (and agree) with it so much, I decided to say a few words about it: Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.

Too many kids (and sadly, too many adults) want everything in life to be easy. I’ll admit that I like doing things the easy way rather than the hard way. I’ll look for a shortcut, and if I find one, I’ll use it. If I can’t find a shortcut or an easy way to do something, I’ll procrastinate as long as possible. It’s human nature. We like for things to be easy.

However, easy isn’t always better. Sometimes the things that are difficult teach us the most. More often than not, it’s the difficult things, not the easy ones, that build character. The difficult things are the ones that give us the skills and strategies that we need to survive and be successful.

If we constantly attempt to make everything in our kids’ lives simple and easy, we aren’t doing them any favors. If we don’t teach our children to handle difficult situations, they will never learn how to handle one on their own. If we constantly give them everything they want, they don’t learn the value of hard work. If they get everything they want easily, they don’t learn to appreciate anything. All kids can be spoiled, but a spoiled kid isn’t one who has never endured any difficulties. You can spoil your kids, and they can still learn lessons and values through their experiences with difficult situations.

I understand that as parents (and sometimes as teachers) we want the kids to be in a better position than we were at their age. I understand that knowing their feelings are hurt because they are told no for something they want is no fun for the parent either. I understand they might even get mad at us if we don’t let them take the easy way out. I also understand that they will eventually get over it.

Our job as parents and teachers is to provide children with the best set of skills possible that will allow them to become functional, contributing citizens in our world. If we are focused on making their lives easy, then we have handicapped them and they will not fulfill their potential. If that happens, we have no one to blame but ourselves. And if that happens, we should be more disappointed in ourselves than we are in them. Our children are only the product of their raising. It’s our duty and our responsibility, as parents and as teachers, to make sure they’re raised right.

Nobody ever said life would be easy. There’s nothing to guarantee that life will be easy. There are things we can do to make our lives easier, but before we can do those things, we first have to have the skills to survive. Our children won’t get those skills if we always make sure they have it easy.

Inching Along to a Total Lack of Privacy

I saw some news stories that have bothered me a little bit. For those of you who know me well, you know that I value privacy a great deal. Apparently, recently some employers have started asking interviewees for their Facebook login information.

This brings up several legal issues, and I think that there will end up being some legislation regarding this issue. In the meantime, in a shaky economy, it puts job seekers in a tight spot. Let me be clear. As far as I’m concerned, employers do not have the right to ask you for your user ID and password to anything, email or social networking site. However, not every job applicant has the luxury to refuse.

As an alternative, some employers want applicants to accept friend requests from the human resources department or want applicants to log in to their accounts and pull up their profiles during the interview. I’m also against this. I understand the need for employers to find employees who are trustworthy and who will be beneficial to their company. I also stress to my students that whatever goes on the Internet is there and can found, and depending on what it is, it could hurt them in the future. However, that doesn’t give employers the right to invade privacy, and an applicant shouldn’t have to choose between feeding his/her family and protecting his/her privacy.

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If a profile is public, it’s just that … public. Anybody can see it. If it’s private, it’s just that … private. You get to choose who sees it. Just because you don’t want someone to see it does not mean you have something to hide. Look at it this way. Do you let everybody you know enter your house? Do you let general acquaintances just enter your house? Do you let complete strangers enter your house? Overall, we are picky about who we invite into our homes, not because we have something to hide but because we want our privacy. The same rule applies to our social networking sites.

We have friends because we choose to have those folks as friends. If someone forces you to accept a friend request, that’s akin to forcing their way into your home. There are a lot of people out there with their profiles set to public, and there are a lot of people who will accept complete strangers as their friends. That’s not the smartest thing to do, but it’s their right to do it. For those who choose to set their profiles to private and who choose to be selective in choosing their friends, they, too, are only exercising their right to privacy.

Employers can require criminal background checks and drug testing for their employees. However, demanding access to a private profile is an invasion of privacy. I’m a believer in the “give them an inch, they’ll take a mile” philosophy, and if employers are allowed to violate privacy in this way, then how long until they can take a tour of your home before they decide whether to hire you? As always, I’ll admit, that might be a stretch, but I don’t accept the idea that it would be an impossible stretch.

Yes, what you put on the Internet will always be there, somewhere. Yes, it can come back to haunt you. Yes, employers want the best employees they can find. However, employers should not be allowed to violate privacy in order to find that employee.

Deleting Something Doesn’t Make It Go Away

Nearly every Facebook user logs in every day and checks to see what his or her litany of friends are up to that day. Status updates allow users to make all sorts of announcements – engagements, marriages, prayer requests, births, dinner plans, musical interests, etc. The gamut of what can be put as a status update is only as limited as the user’s imagination.

On days when school is canceled, there are many posts about not having school. There also end up being many posts about people posting about no school, some humorous and some almost vengeful. On days UK basketball is playing, there are many posts about the Wildcats. There also end up being many posts about people posting about the Wildcats, again some humorous and some almost vengeful. On days when a Facebook upgrade or change is pending, there are many posts about the impending upgrade. There also end up being many posts about people posting about the upgrade.

Some days there are posts upon posts about the weather, about something happening in the country (perhaps the death of someone famous, perhaps an upcoming debate or election), about movies, or about sports (local or national, both seem to get a huge response).

The great thing about a status update is you can post whatever you want to share with those on your friends list. The flip side of that is all your friends have the same freedome to post whatever they’re willing to share with all those on their friends lists. If 600 of your 1,000 friends want to post about no school or the Wildcats, that’s perfectly OK. If 300 more want to post complaints about the 600 who posted about no school or the Wildcats, that’s perfectly OK as well.

As with all issues of freedom of expression, your posts should not be ones that are intended to be harmful to someone else. Posting threats is not a good idea; those can be used against you in a court of law. Posting harrassing comments is not a good idea; those can also be used against you in a court of law.

While you’re pretty much free to post whatever you want, you might want to carefully consider what those posts happen to be. If your posts are complaints about the posts of others, that creates an impression of you, and it’s not a very favorable one. And while it’s OK to have an attitude where you aren’t real concerned about what others think of you, just keep in mind that more and more employers are checking social networking sites to gather information about potential employees. If they see your posts and determine you are a constant complainer, your chances of getting the job just decreased.

What you post is there, and it stays somewhere forever. You can delete a post, but somebody who knows what they’re doing can find it again. You can delete whatever, but a hacker worth his salt can find it. Once something is posted to the Internet, it never truly disappears, even if you hit the delete key.

If you get tired of reading posts about no school or the Wildcats or complaints about others’ posts, you have some options. You can post to complain about it. You can stay away from Facebook on days there’s no school or when the Cats play. You can skip over those updates as you scroll down the page; nothing says you have to read every post on the page. I don’t. If I see one that looks like something I’d rather not read, I skip it and go on. You can hide posts related to certain topics or from certain people. You can delete your Facebook account and not have to worry about it at all.

Facebook is a social networking site that allows “friends” to stay in contact with one another. If you don’t really care what your “friend” has to say about something and you’re only going to complain about what he or she posts, then perhaps you should consider defriending that person.

Post whatever you want for your status update, just realize that all your friends are also allowed to post whatever they want for their status updates. And just so you know, your status update complaining about the number of status updates about a particular topic isn’t going to stop the other status updates from appearing. But, hey, if it makes you feel better, then go for it.

With Facebook, You Get What You Pay For

Once again Facebook is making changes to its site, and once again Facebook users are complaining about those changes. Many of those complaints are because the users don’t want the changes, and they don’t like being forced to make the changes to their page. I’ve even seen comments about how communist it is that they will be forced to change whether they want to or not.

Well, here’s the deal. Facebook is a free social networking site. Nobody is forced to use Facebook. Users sign up of their own free will. Because Facebook is a free service provided for the benefit of those who choose to use the service, the owners of the product (Facebook) can change it whenever they want. Those owners also have the right to make those updates and changes apply to all user accounts. And it’s not communism for them to do so.

That’s the thing about being the owner of a product. If you are the owner, you can make as many changes to the product as you want. You can make those changes whenever you want. And if you are not the owner? It’s actually very simple. If you are a user of the product, and you don’t like or don’t want to accept the changes, just stop using the product. You, as a user of the product, have the right to stop using the product. If communism were involved, you would not have that right. However, this is still America, and you still have the right to choose which products you will use and which you will not use. If the changes mandated by Facebook annoy you that much, then stop using Facebook.

Here’s another thing I’ve noticed. Whenever Facebook makes changes, there is a huge uproar at the time of the change. A couple weeks later, all the fuss had died down. Either everyone realized the change wasn’t so bad after all, or everyone realized that the constant complaining was futile. I’ve also noticed that many who complain the loudest when the change first takes effect end up being the ones who like the change the most.

I understand that to a degree we humans are resistant to change. We get comfortable and used to things the way they are, and we like to be comfortable. As a result, by our nature, we tend to fight change. The interesting thing about change is it can be good or bad. Many times we don’t know which it will be until well after the change has occurred.

Technological changes occur around us every day. Cell phones change so frequently that by the time you purchase the newest model that just went on sale, it’s already outdated. When iPhone makes changes to its product, I don’t see the uproar that surrounds Facebook changes. Well, folks, both are products and both will change. The difference is iPhone isn’t a free product, and its changes will cost you a pretty penny if you decide to buy into the change. Facebook, on the other hand, is a free product, and its changes will cost you nothing. Either way, the solution is very simple. If you don’t like the changes, don’t use the product.

Father Sends Personal Reply to Daughter’s Rant

As yesterday’s post said, the world does not revolve around you. Today, I found a story that many of you may have seen about the father who made the video in response to his daughter’s Facebook post. He, in turn, posted his response to her page. There have been many who applauded the father for his actions, and there were also many who thought he’d gone too far and had doomed his daughter to a life of therapy. In actuality, the consequences will likely fall somewhere in the middle.

Was posting the video response, which included him shooting up her laptop, on her Facebook page appropriate? It may have been an extreme response, but we have to remember that she posted first, and his was a response. Yes, she’s a child and he’s an adult. Her original post appeared to simply be the rantings of a teen. I remember being a teen. Trust me, I had my rants. I’ve had four teenagers. They’ve had their rants. We chose not to do ours in a public forum. However, she posted her rant on a public forum. Therefore, logically, a public reponse does seem appropriate. The lesson both she and her father hopefully will learn from this is two-fold. First, it’s never really a good idea to air your dirty laundry in public. Second, what’s on the Internet is there forever and can easily take on a life of its own, just as their situation has done.

I don’t think the daughter will have to have years of therapy because her father posted a video response to her rant. I don’t think she’ll be emotionally scarred for the rest of her life based on this one situation. After all, we have to keep in mind that all we’ve seen of this family is related to this one incident in their lives. If it’s no worse than what we’ve seen and heard, she’ll grow on up and be just fine. One thing’s for sure. She won’t forget what happened to her laptop. When, or if, she gets another, I bet she’ll be more careful.

The broader story here is the selfishness of today’s children and teenagers. Too many of them feel they are entitled to all the things they have. Too few of them appreciate the sacrifices their parents make for them to have those things. Children and teens need to realize their parents are morally obligated to take care of them. They need to understand that taking care of them involves feeding them, providing them shelter and clothing, providing them an education, providing them health care and ensuring they are clean. Anything beyond that is just extra. Parents are not obligated to provide any video game system, any cell phone, any laptop or computer, any mp3 player or ipod, or any other electronic device. In addition, parents are not obligated to provide a car when the child turns 16, and if the parents chooses to give the child a car, they are not obligated to provide a brand new or the most expensive car on the market.  All of these things are extras, things parents provide because they want to.

The problem is too many kids demand these items, and the parents allow them to make the demands and then meet those demands. My children have tons of stuff – video games, ipods, laptops, cell phones, and probably several things I’ve forgotten. But you know what. Not one time have my children demanded that I get them these things. They have asked for these things, but have not demanded. And I appreciate that. Yes, my children are spoiled, but they don’t act like spoiled brats, and they appreciate the things they’ve been given.

So, kids … your parents don’t owe you everything you want. Your world won’t end if you don’t have it. You won’t need therapy just because you didn’t have it.

And parents … you don’t owe your children everything they want. Their world won’t end if they don’t get it, and neither will yours. They won’t need therapy just because you don’t give them something they want, and neither will you. If you find your kids aren’t appreciating the extras you’re providing them, the solution is simple. Stop providing them.

I didn’t get everything I wanted while growing up. I didn’t necessarily like it, but in the end, it’s turned out OK. My kids have stuff, but they haven’t gotten everything they want either, and they’ve turned out OK, too.

One other issue addressed in the daughter’s rant and the father’s video is chores. Yes, kids, you should be expected to help out around the house. That does not make you a slave. It makes you a responsible member of the family. You help make the mess, so you can help clean it up. Your parents work to support you, so there’s nothing wrong with you giving them a helping hand. Keeping your room clean, sweeping the floor, washing dishes (especially if that just means loading and unloading a dishwasher), helping with the laundry, or mowing the lawn will not take all your time. But even more imporant than that, by doing these tasks, you learn how to do them. One day you will be grown and living on your own. It’d be a pretty sad state of affairs if you couldn’t take care of yourself. These tasks aren’t things you’re born knowing how to do. Somebody has to teach you, and that job would fall to your parents. If you think about it, you’ll realize chores aren’t to punish you but are to make sure you will be able to take care of yourself when your parents are no longer there to do it for you.

Generally speaking, airing your issues on a social network isn’t the best way to deal with those issues. Hopefully, the father and daughter involved have learned some additional lessons, and they will move forward and be fine. The rest of us can learn some lessons from this situation, too, without having to become a public spectacle to do so. And I hope we do.