Referees’ Calls Are Out of Bounds

I generally don’t like to bash referees. I don’t like to blame losses on referees. I like to think that most referees are doing the best they can do, in a thankless job; after all, there are many who have no qualms whatsoever about either referee bashing or referee blaming. However, there are times when even I have to wonder about the referees and the decisions they make.

I realize games are played at a fast pace and decisions have to be made quickly. I recognize that I am in no way an expert on the rules of any athletic event, though I’ve watched enough basketball and football that I feel pretty confidant in the basic rules. I totally understand that sometimes mistakes will happen and a call will be blown. After all, the referees are only human, and humans sometimes make mistakes. Given all of that, though, when it is obvious to me, the definite non-expert in the gym or on the field, that a call has been missed, then there’s something wrong. If it were only one or two calls per game, that would be bad, but not horrible. However, lately, I’ve seen so many missed calls in every game, it’s starting to be pretty pathetic.

Of course, there are the foul calls that are missed. There is a distinct difference in the sound made when a hand slaps the ball and when a hand slaps skin. If I can hear it in the stands, the referee who is standing right there should also be able to hear it. As often as not, even when it’s all ball, a foul gets called. A few walks get by the referees. Sometimes when a ball gets knocked out of bounds, the wrong team gets it back. These are typical missed calls, and as long as there aren’t a lot of them, you can take it as part of the game.

However, there are times when there are obvious, blatant calls that are so contradictory to what should be called, that even the most laidback of fans end up screaming at the refs. A few examples come to mind. Recently, I watched a game where a girl shot and made a basket, but the ref blew the whistle and called a jump ball, and the basket didn’t count. Say what? How can it be a jump ball if it’s going through the basket? In another game, Player A and Player B are both trying to get the rebound, Player A pushes Player B to the floor, and again, the call is a jump ball. According to the ref on that one, there was not a foul because Player B did not have control of the ball. Excuse me? Since when is pushing another player to the floor not a foul? If it were a legal move to push players to the floor to keep them from catching a pass or retrieving a loose ball or making the rebound, then wouldn’t there be a whole lot more pushing players to the floor? Whether a player has the ball or not, other players are not allowed to push them to the floor. If that were allowed, trust me, there’d be a lot more pushing going on.

Then there are the instances where there’s a loose ball and you have multiple players from both teams trying to get possession of the ball or to at least force a jump ball. I know refs don’t need to make the call too quick, but there’s such a thing as letting the rolling around on the floor go on too long which, more often than not, results in somebody ejected from the game. When it becomes obvious that it’s a jump ball, call the jump ball. Don’t let the situation escalate so that tempers start to flare and pushing and/or punching takes place. Yes, the athletes should be able to control their tempers, but the longer you let three or four teenagers roll around on the floor trying to get possession of a ball, you’re just asking for trouble. It’s hard enough for adults to control their tempers in a volatile situation where the levels of emotion and intensity are already running high. Having been a teenager once upon a time and working with teenagers daily, trust me, it’s even harder for them. Why set them up to be in a situation where they will likely make the wrong decision?

I realize it’s impossible to make all fans happy all the time. It’s also nearly impossible to make most of the fans happy most of the time. And with fans from two opposing teams, it’s fairly safe to say that at least half the fans aren’t going to be happy. However, a cleanly called game, that’s fair, is really all anybody — players, fans, coaches — wants. Are we asking for too much? Is it too much to expect a fairly called game? Is it too much to expect that the obvious calls get made the right way?

This is the thing. If such blatant mistakes didn’t happen at nearly every game, it wouldn’t be so bad. But when it happens over and over and over again, it’s frustrating, not just for the fans but also for the players and coaches. What’s a foul today isn’t a foul tomorrow. What a player can get by with in one game, he or she can’t in another. Players don’t know how to play if the calls aren’t consistent, and that isn’t fair to anybody.

I don’t know if referees do annual training. I don’t know what their evaluation protocol is. And I feel fairly certain that finding referees is a difficult job, and finding consistently good referees a still more difficult job. However, we should try to get it right. And there should be some sort of system in place where referees are evaluated regularly, and if those referees consistently miss calls, especially obvious ones, then there should be a probationary period and/or eventually dismissal.

I’m still not a fan of referee bashing or blaming, and I’m still going to try to avoid those activities. Based on the games I’ve watched, lately, though, they’re sure making it hard. I realize this is just high school sports, and it’s not the end-all, be-all of anything, but athletes learn a lot of lessons while playing ball. It seems a shame that one of the biggest lessons they have to learn is that life’s not fair.

Read Today’s Blog for a Winning Experience

Here are three things to remember.

1. At the end of the day, win or lose, it is just a game. Yes, we like to win. Yes, we like for our team to win. However, sometimes we, or our team, learn as much if not more from losing than from winning. We don’t like to learn lessons the hard way, but sometimes it is essential for our overall well-being. We may not understand it at the time, but at some point later in life, we likely will. This lesson is oftentimes more important for fans than for those playing the game, especially when children and teens are the ones playing. Too often the fans expect them to play as well as the pros do, and that’s just not going to happen. If you lose, mourn the loss, then get over it and move on.

2. You can’t accomplish much in life without knowing how to read. You don’t have to like reading, but you have to be able to read. As often as not, most information is communicated to us through the written word. We have to be able to understand what we’re reading. Parents who encourage their children not to be successful readers are doing them a huge disservice. I’d go as far as to say that it is a form of negligence. In the year 2013, there is no reason for a healthy child not knowing how to read.

3. If you don’t learn from your mistakes, you will repeat them. Experience is the best teacher, and we can learn a lot from the mistakes we make. We learn easier, better ways to accomplish things based on experience. We learn who to trust and who not to trust based on experience. Life can sometimes become a lot more enjoyable if we learn from these experiences. If experience shows us we can’t trust somebody, then it doesn’t matter how much we love or like that person, we need to stop trusting them. You can love someone and not trust them. If experience shows us that eating certain foods is detrimental to our health, we should refrain from eating those foods. If experience shows us that procrastination is more harmful than helpful, then we should stop procrastinating. Experience is the best teacher, but only if we stop to actually learn something from the experience. These experiences and lessons can be both positive and negative; not all things we learn have to be learned through negative experiences. It’s just up to us to make sure whether it’s positive or negative, we get the message.

There’s No Excuse for Being Bored

Summer vacation is past the halfway point. Many kids began to complain of boredom just a couple of weeks in. By now, there are probably more bored kids than satisfied kids. This is rather sad, because with all the things available to kids today, there’s no excuse for being bored.

1. Read a book. This has always been my favorite thing to do. With today’s technology, kids can either grab an actual book and read or they can read e-books. Either way, books offer the ultimate getaway. Through books, kids can travel the world. They can visit any place and any time period. There is no place that is off limits in books. Not only does reading provide the ultimate escape or vacation, it also provides educational benefits. Of course, you might not want to advertise that particular benefit to the kids as it will send many of them running in the other direction. However, reading is a skill, and like all other skills we learn, it is improved through practice. The more one reads, the better reader he or she will become. So, when your child complains of boredom, suggest that he or she read a book and as encouragement stress the benefit of visiting new worlds over the benefits of higher reading levels. And if you really want to encourage reading, do so by reading. Kids are more likely to do what they see us do, and if they see that you enjoy a good book, they are more likely to give reading a try.

2. Go outside and play. This is an oldie, but it can still reduce boredom. I’ve never been much of an outside person myself. I’ve always preferred staying inside and reading my books, but I do realize there are benefits to outside play. I spent more time outside after I had kids than I ever did as a kid. If I can make that sacrifice for my kids, so can you. Riding bikes and playing games not only relieve boredom but they also provide health and exercise benefits and could possibly provide cognitive benefits as well. If the kids create games, then they get to use their critical thinking skills and imagination, which also have numerous benefits for when they return to school. And again, you may not want to stress the educational benefits of this type of boredom relief. For some reason, kids are turned off by the idea of doing anything eduacational during their summer vacation, so it’s best not to share that with the kids as they’re playing.

3. Play a video game. Today’s kids have so many video games, many of them could open their own Game Stop. While it is true that kids shouldn’t spend hours upon hours upon hours playing video games, there’s no reason to ban them. Video games can also provide educational benefits while relieving boredom. In many of today’s games, players have to make decisions based on the evidence they have and those decisions affect the outcomes of the games. Believe it or not, this helps develop those critical thinking skills. In addition, there are many trivia-based games, word games, and educational games that kids can play. Just because it’s a video game doesn’t mean it has to be a shoot-’em-up game.

4. Find a hobby. The hobbies available are unlimited. There are many crafts available. Sewing, crocheting, knitting, and other needlework projects can be fun, as can whittling and other woodworking projects. Fishing can be a hobby, but it is one that requires a lot of patience. Kids who couldn’t be content sitting for hours on the bank of a lake and catching nothing should consider something besides fishing. Photography can also be a lot of fun, though it has the potential to become a more expensive hobby than most. Writing, drawing, dancing, geneaology, scrapbooking, singing, playing an instrument, cooking, collecting something, and athletics are all excellent potential hobbies.

5. Do some chores. If all else fails, this typically solves problems of boredom. Ideally, your kids are already doing some chores around the house, but if nothing else solves their boredom, then suggest there are extra chores that can be done around the house. Suddenly, those really bored kids will be able to find something to do to alleviate their boredom.

I can’t imagine being bored. When we become adults, we realize that some downtime with seemingly nothing to do is a great gift. Our schedules are so full of things to do, we generally have to schedule our free time. Kids will eventually figure this out and will find downtime much less boring, but until they do, there’s no reason for them to be bored. There are plenty of activities to keep them busy and entertained until school starts back.

Win or Lose, Don’t Whine

I have always enjoyed watching my children and my nieces/nephews play ball. What I have not always enjoyed is watching the adult fans who attend these games. Honestly, the kids usually behave better, so here are some tips for making sure that you, the fan, are not perceived as an idiot at any point during the game.

1. It’s better to be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. More often than not, when the stark-raving-mad fan opens his/her mouth, he or she just proves to everybody there that he or she is an idiot. Therefore, unless you are offering words of encouragement, it’s better to keep your mouth closed. Case in point: The umpire makes a call that is favorable to Team A, but Team B’s coach disagrees and argues. Crazy Fan from Team A screams, “The ump gets the final call. Get over it.” Later in the same game, the same umpire makes a call that is favorable to Team B. Same Crazy Fan from Team A now screams, “Bad call. You can’t cheat for the other team.” And the sad thing is that this is a scenario I actually saw and not one I’ve made up for illustrative purposes. Here’s a newsflash for Crazy Fan – when you argue in this manner, you look like an idiot. The other thing about keeping your mouth closed is simple. If you don’t know the rules of the game, and thus have no clue what you’re talking about, keep your mouth closed. When you start yelling crazy things and you’re obviously wrong, the people around you who do know the rules of the game just think you’re stupid. So, unless you know what you’re talking about, don’t talk about it. A final note about keeping your mouth closed. If you’re yelling at another parent, you look just as much like an idiot (maybe even more) as when you’re yelling at the officials. Don’t let the other fans get under your skin. Ignore them. Whatever you do, don’t engage in a shouting match with them.

2. Here’s a rule you should establish with your child who is playing. Don’t embarrass me, and I won’t embarrass you. It’s simple and easy to follow. The child behaves appropriately and plays like a good sport, and the parent (or grandparent, aunt, uncle, neighbor, whoever) watches like a good sport. There’s no screaming at the child (any child), only words of encouragement. There’s no screaming on the part of the child. There’s no screaming at the ref or the ump for the calls that are made. I followed this rule with my kids, and it worked out quite well. I only had one incident. When Byron was playing tee ball, he watched other kids throw their helmets when they got mad. Once, after he struck out, he returned to the dugout and threw his helmet. I did not appreciate this behavior, but I did not scream at him across the field. Instead, I walked to the dugout, said his name, and he came over to the fence. I simply said, “You will never throw another helmet, or anything else. Understood?” He simply said, “Yes, ma’am.” It never happened again. Kids can be encouraged while they play, and they can be taught appropriate behavior. The adults, however, should remember that kids can be embarrassed by how the adults behave, and they should remember that not only kids but everyone there is watching them, and they should likewise behave appropriately.

3. Bad calls will be made in every game. It happens. It’s not always on purpose. In fact, most of the time, it is NOT on purpose. But it happens. The umpires and referees are humans. The action in any ball game happens very quickly. Mistakes will be made. I’d be willing to bet that when it happens, the person who missed the call feels bad. More often than not, these people who ump or ref really do just want a good, clean game for the kids. I will admit that it is upsetting when a bad call is made. However, you have to get over it and move on. Odds are that over the course of your child’s sports career, he or she will get as many calls as go against them. Move on. Constantly yelling at a referee or umpire does nothing but make you look foolish.

4. Knowing how to win is as important as knowing how to lose. Being a good sport is important, and it’s just as hard to be a good winner as it is to be a good loser. Remember, these are KIDS playing these games. They are not professional athletes. I personally don’t care if some pro athlete gets his or her feelings hurt because somebody is talking trash. I do care if kids do. Just ask yourself how you want your kid treated, and then treat the other kids that same way. Losing hurts. Make sure your kids (and you) know how to be classy both when winning and when losing.

5. Watch your language. I realize some people use curse words on a regular basis and treat them as any other word. However, not everyone does. Movies receive ratings based on language for a reason, though they seem to be a little looser than they should be with those ratings, but that’s a blog for another day. It’s simple. You know what kind of language is appropriate in a public setting. You know there are usually lots of small children around ball fields or courts. Be respectful and bite your tongue if necessary. Don’t be throwing out inappropriate language.

6. It takes more than one bad call or one missed play to lose a ball game. I’ll give you that a bad call or a missed play can sink momentum, but part of learning the game is learning to overcome the obstacles that may be in the way. Athletes have to be able to move on from that play, get their head back into the game, and keep playing. If we’re talking about baseball, ask how many batters struck out. Had they hit the ball, the outcome would likely have been different. If we’re talking about football, ask how many tackles were missed or passes dropped. Had tackles been made and passes caught, the outcome would likely have been different. If we’re talking about basketball, ask how many foul shots were missed. Had the foul shots been made, the outcome would likely have been different. You see, there are things that can be done to overcome that bad call or that missed play. I also understand that in some games there are multiple bad calls, and sometimes there may be cheating going on. If that’s the case, there’s often not anything you can do but keep trying your best. However, those cases are the exception and not the rule. It doesn’t happen nearly as often as people like to think it does. It’s just easier to blame a loss on a ref or an ump than it is to admit that you just didn’t play well that day. The thing is you aren’t doing anybody any favors when you do that. Accept responsibility, do your best, and move on.

7. Unless you’re yelling words of encouragement (“Let’s go guys,” “Good job,” “You can do it,”), you probably don’t need to be yelling, especially at someone else’s kid. It’s bad enough if you yell something negative to your own child, but don’t you dare yell something negative at someone else’s child. These are just kids, and you don’t have the right to yell negative comments to someone else’s kid. And I’m not just talking about little league; this applies to high school athletes as well. They’re kids, and if it’s not yours, keep your mouth shut. As a parent, you know nothing makes you madder than when someone mistreats your kids, and if you’re yelling negative comments at someone else’s child, that’s what you’re doing. Just don’t do that.

8. Finally, if your kid doesn’t want to play, don’t make him or her. Making him or her play will not make him or her like the sport. Making him or her play could result in an injury. If the kid doesn’t want to play, he or she will not pay as much attention to the game as he or she should, which could mean getting hit by a ball or getting run over by another player, which could result in a serious injury. Making him or her play isn’t good for the team as a whole. If the kid doesn’t want to be there, he or she will not give his/her best effort. Everybody ends up miserable. You, the kid, the team, and the fans. If the kid doesn’t want to play, everybody watching knows it. Everyone else aside, don’t do that to yourself and your child. Find something that your child enjoys, and the two of you can share that. Not every kid wants to be an athlete. That’s OK.

I realize this blog has gotten rather lengthy, and if you’re still reading, thank you. Watching kids play sports can be a lot of fun, but it can be a lot more fun if the adults who are watching would all remember they’re watching kids. Winning is important. If it wasn’t, they wouldn’t keep score. Lessons can be learned, through winning and losing, that will help the kids become good citizens later in life. Just remember that most of the kids you’re watching will never play again after high school. They won’t have college or professional careers. Therefore, there’s nothing wrong with letting them have fun while they play (and yes, I realize winning is more fun than losing). But one sure way to take the fun out of the game is for the adults to act worse than the kids.

Involved Students Are Successful Students

One of the keys to being a successful student is to be an involved student. Extra-curricular activities are as important to a student’s development as their academic classes are.

Academics are the primary focus of school. Students need to know basic skills such as reading, writing, math, science, social studies, and computers. Other academic classes are also important. The core classes provide students with a wide array of knowledge and skills to allow them to be productive and successful, but there are additional skills that are more easily acquired in extra-curricular activities.

In general, students who are involved in extra-curricular activities have better attendance and are better behaved. Because attendance and discipline often affect a student’s ability to participate, they will come to school and behave so they can participate in the fun stuff.

Participating in extra-curricular activities allows students to obtain a variety of skills. They learn to be leaders as well as team players. Whether it’s a sports team or a club, students have to work together to complete tasks. This may require the skills of delegating or compromising, both of which are useful in the adult world. Students who participate in clubs learn about the particulars related to their club (business in FBLA or agriculture in FFA), but often they also learn skills related to community service. This allows students to become active participants in their community and to appreciate the things their community offers to them. Again, these are useful skills to have in the adult world.

Another skill students acquire through their participation in extra-curricular activities is time management. Students must learn to juggle the demands of school, their clubs and activities, and their home lives. College scholarship selection committees love to see a student with a high GPA, a high ACT score, and a list of extra-curricular activities. This demonstrates that students already have time management skills which will make it easier for them to be successful in college. Employers would also like to see this because time management is also extremely important for most jobs. It’s easy for a student to have a 4.0 GPA if all they do is attend school, but to maintain a high GPA while balancing other activities makes a student a much more attractive candidate for a scholarship or a job.

Most schools have a variety of extra-curricular activities to appeal to a huge number of students. There are the sports – football, basketball, baseball, softball, volleyball, soccer, golf, track, etc. There are the teams – academic team, drama team, band, speech team, debate team, etc. There are the clubs – Teens for Christ, FBLA, FCCLA, HOSA, FFA, BETA club, etc. Extra-curricular activities are not confined to schools. Communities also can offer activities for students to be involved in, such as Jr. Red Cross, Relay for Life, hospital volunteers, church youth groups, etc.

For anyone who’s interested in doing more than just being a student, there are an abundance of opportunities. If your school doesn’t have something that interests you, talk to your principal to see if something related to your interest can be offered. If your community doesn’t have something that interests you, talk to your mayor or county judge to see if something related to your interest can be offered.

Being involved is an excellent way for students to get the most out of their school and their community. Therefore, parents should both encourage and support their children in these activities. They often require some time and sacrifice on the part of the parent, but it’s worth it because it will help your child become a better citizen. Our youth will one day be the leaders of our communities and our countries. If we don’t prepare them for that, we’ve done a disservice to ourselves and to them.

Students, find an extra-curricular activity that appeals to you and get involved. Parents, encourage and support them as they do so.